Last night was a different mood altogether, one of homesickness and yearning that does not know how to be satiated. I landed in Chicago and it was ice: while no snow was in sight, the feeling that threaded through the bright buildings and carried by the whizzing cars was that of arctic rigidity. I had forgotten what Chicago was like, in a span of two weeks. Los Angeles does that to you. I could not sleep last night. I was still in California time, literally and figuratively.
I woke up this morning and the familiar sound of Lincoln Park streets prompted me to wake up. While I had wanted to go to the gym, I was glad I was able to spend a few more minutes sleeping. I got myself to work on time, greeted my coworkers, then started the day that did not end until 7 pm. I was seated firmly in my desk, pushing work after another. I can barely see the bottom of my email list, and that’s only because I quickly skimmed through my inbox to check if there was actually an end to the madness. I had a meeting, set up other ones, answered questions from others, reached out for answers to my own, and so forth. My emotions were the intersection of the power of stress and beauty of focus. I was at the ready, tackling projects given to me, on the front lines. There was also serenity scattered throughout the day, palpable in intermittent burst. Focus is one of the main things I’m wishing for this year, and its first marking came to me so early. There have been times when I’m so intensely focused, and I reach a state akin to meditation. Ideas and energy originate easily, and I go through my tasks with such lightness and quickness that I don’t want to break from the flow. This is the ideal state. Sometimes, I experience negativity that I’m not aware of due to being overwhelmed, criticized, not getting what I want, disrespect, among other things. I hope the serenity I reached today will continue through each day, both at work and in my personal life. I wish to continue the search for peace and tranquility in stressful environments and times.
Since school hasn’t started yet, when I got home from staying late at work, I had dinner, chatted with a friend, and still felt I had time to spare. I changed into warm workout clothes and headed to the gym, braving the icy air from which I only realized then my apartment had been protecting me. Almost no one was at the gym, and I put in a good 20 minutes of running before I headed back to unwind some more. I still have my luggages from LA to unpack, and other things I could do, but I don’t want to burn myself out too quickly so I am setting a workable pace. I had the urge to write and I responded to it. Here’s to hoping I get to do this more regularly and seriously in 2013. Documenting the everyday is one of the most profound experiences after all, isnt it?